Becoming a Monk: February, 1996

Dear readers,

I have many things to share about my early childhood days. This small anecdote is one of them. Actually, I am afraid it is cheerless. But all the same, I sincerely hope that you will enjoy ‘my little world’ and empathize with me. 

Just like you, I had many dreams in my life. When I was quite young I used to tell my mother that one fine day I will become a DCM Truck Driver or Dasho Dzongrub. But did I really fulfil my dream? I ask this question time and again. And I always get the same answer- No. No, I did not fulfil my dream. Who has seen the future? God perhaps has seen it. I didn’t.

Can a monk drive a DCM Truck or become a Dasho Dzongrub? It was beyond imagination, at least in those days. One has to study hard and get a lot of trainings to become somebody in his/her life. Day dreaming is one thing, but materializing those dreams are quite another. And almost everything starts with schooling. As I reminiscence over my bygone days, I am often strung with nostalgia and a sense of guilt as my parents struggled to see me through schooling system. Kadrinchey, Apa and Ama. What I am now is totally because of the sacrifices that you made for me, and the choices I made for myself.

But not so long ago, I decided to become a monk in Lhuentse Dzong. My parents wished me well. We assembled some basic things and packed them in a basket. I was ready. Monkhood was all I wanted. I was filled with joy and happiness. We started our journey and said goodbye to my village friends and neighbours. I had my cousins in Lhuentse Dzong. This fact excited me even more.

According to Dratshang norms, the total number of monks in the Dzong should be approximately 100 or 108. I ranked 130 on the admission list. So naturally, I was not recognized as a full-fledged monk. But I was lucky to receive ‘Wang’, ‘Lung’, ‘Thri Sum’ from His Holiness Namkhai Nyingpo Rinpochey who blessed us in the Dzong for 14 days. It was a grand ceremony indeed. But soon hustle and bustle in the dzong came to an end, and with it, my excitement too.

Life in Dzong took a different turn. I felt strange. I felt alienated. Day in and day out I agonized. My innocent heart ached with pain and tears simply oozed out of my eyes. I prostrated before Lord Buddha and said a humble prayer of remorse, “I am so sorry. I am not ready”. 

What is a monk? Did I become a monk? What did I do? Were my parents really happy with this? Did I find out another new world to become a DCM Truck driver or Dasho Dzongrub? It is beyond my comprehension. Who has seen the future anyway?

Laying under the Full Moon

I welcomed Full Moon,

In a respected compassion,

With a wish to shine forever in this Universe 

The night was so cool and peace,

I lay on my carpet, watching the full Moon constantly,

I felt cool and unsullied air passing by.

The sky was tranquil and so friendly,

With a luminous moonlight, bounded by innumerable stars,

I was contented to see the nature around.

Nearby the gate was the security guard,

Exhausted and snoring steadfastly,

The dogs came too, and slept besides him.

Little faraway is the University Tower,

With red lettered signal lights,

Blinking after every second as my eyes do

The flights were moving up and down,

With a stable velocity,

To accomplish their own destiny

The silence of the night,

Took me to my home country,

Where my parents, associations and beloved subsist

I asked my own soul, 

How far is my home country?

I cried for a moment, reason being far away

Ants of different sizes were consequently busy, 

Kissing here and there on my feet, thighs, and belly

Sending messages from one to another on their way

I sung many songs,

Of no particular tune,

I laughed and laughed, just laughed

The steady brightness of the Moonlight,

Remind me of my aging epoch,

Getting older and nearer to the graveyard

I said goodnight to the full Moon,

Goodnight to my home country,

And goodnight to my eyes

Picture Source: http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/29400000/Sleeping-Under-The-Full-Moon-disnersover-29472074-1280-1024.jpg

My First Sight, 1998

Choden Primary School
Thimphu; Bhutan
7 March, 1998

Dear

My communications are few, yet my heart is authentic
I attain lot many friends in my existence, but not as spongy as you
I remember you in my life, because I never forget you
You know life receive story, and mind receive perception

I worship you from the earth till the moon
I shed tears for the age that you were almost mine
I cry for the recollections I have left behind
I whimper for the times I thought I had you in my life

Whenever you feel lonely, I will be there for you
Remember me, day and night
I will never shut my eyes, since you are there for me
Get nearer and be with me everlastingly

Life is too short to be taken seriously
Let us get the feelings in one time life
I belief that God above us is waiting for us
Without a beloved heart, is only a portion of flesh?

Just trust my dispatch
I will be waiting for your retort
Don’t modify your soul
Come and love me perpetually

Missing You Dear
With Unending Love

Jurme
Kabesa Primary school
Punakha, 1998

Mythology Vs History

• Mythology is minimally based on myths and fabricated stories, which cannot be systematically, demonstrate 
• History is well recognized through the evidences which can be scientifically proved 
• History is based on fact 
• Mythology is based on famous tale 
• Myths might encompass paranormal or supernatural elements, contain heroic figures and supernatural events 
• History has its heroes, real characters and real achievements 
• History explains, describes and analyses the truth 
• Myths teach us moral lesson 
• Myth is not always right 
• History is not in 100% myth 
• History attempts to describe events based on facts 
• Mythology attempts to depict events related to speculation

Desi Jigme Namgyal and Ashley Eden Mission (1862-1864 A. D).

Interactions in the 19th century between British India and the Kingdom of Bhutan

British had come to India as a trader and established their company rule in 1600 A. D. After gaining the political control (Battle of Plassey, 1757) over some prosperous states in India, they established their supremacy over the vast territories in India. The Company rule lasted until 1858 and it was taken directly by the British Raj and ruled up-to 1947. Through the trading and commercial policy of the British East India Company, the British Raj wanted to expand their control over the South Asia, South East Asia and Far East. The Mission under the leadership of Ashley Eden (1831-87), a British administrator, which was sent to Bhutan in 1862, had the following objectives and consequences in the Bhutanese History:

A. Objectives of the Mission:

• To conclude a treaty of peace and friendship with Bhutan
• Wish to resolve the outstanding problems of the Duars
• To learn the military strength of Bhutan
• Wanted to develop Bi-lateral relation with Bhutan
• To set up free trade and commerce relation with Bhutan
• Preferred to propagate the principles of Christianity in Bhutan
• Intended to institute free trade relation with Tibet via Bhutan
• To defend British India from future attack of the USSR (by establishing friendly relations with Bhutan and Tibet).
• They were to study the situation of Bhutan (which would be easy to spy out the feasibility for the future military)
• Failure of previous missions to Bhutan

B. Reactions and Failure of the Mission:

• Talks at the tables were arranged and the draft treaty of the mission was rejected by the Desi Jigme Namgyal 
• Jigme Namgyal refused to sign on the draft treaty and asked the mission to go back
• The political condition in Bhutan was not steady and fit due to civil wars among the feudal lords in the country
• For instance, Darlung Tobgye, the then Wangduephodrang Dzongpoen was very infuriated and irritably thrown the Doma which he had chewed in his own mouth on Sir Ashley Eden’s face.
• The mission which was an uninvited and not gorgeous to the Bhutanese leaders was a failure one
• Failure of the Mission led to the declaration of a series of Duar wars from 1864 to 1865.
• Surrender of Assam and Bengal Duars to British government (after the Battle of Deothang, 27 January, 1865)

Further Reading: “The Emergence of Modern Bhutan. Jigme Namgyal’s life and career, 1825-1881” by Ashi Kezang Choden Dorji

...Options in my life?

I am called by a different name in my family, but outside I am infamously known as Red Headed. I am mostly found in southern Minnesota, USA. I feel free and thrilled in different hues. To establish my own territory and to attract mates are only concern that I have in my life. Nature has offered me lot of home. I feel glad to travel here and there provided that someone who is higher in grade and powerful than my size would not harm me. Life is very short as somebody said. It’s very tricky to find out a dead or dry tree.

I live mostly in an existing home, hollowing out the vertical surface of tree trucks and branches, waiting for ants and insects to come out. Frustration comes when the weather condition is very bad. It takes me 2-3 days to peck a hole, where there is already a cavity. I lay eggs and hoist my family and move to another wood after a few weeks. I could see human beings happy with their life. I am bounded by so many problems and heaviness. I live everywhere in existing surroundings with terror and strain. I do have my own territory, family, government, but I don’t have external sovereignty to some extent.

Do I have Options in my life?

The Note-Books with the Admonition

My schooling life was so strange. Brought up in a destitute family, I became very sincere diligent. It was so stiff on my part during those times. Enjoyment was away from my world. My schooling life at Punakha High School was profoundly challenged by the competitors from the various sections: Science, Commerce and Arts. I belonged to Arts section, one of the notorious sections of the year 2004. Ragging Giver Class of the year.

Copying notes either directly from the green board or listening to the dictation of a teacher in the Bhutanese classroom teaching was the culture during those times. My friends in the class were so lazy to copy those notes in time. Being one of the high achievers in the class, my friends used to lend my note books to copy down those notes-

So, I started maintaining the note books. The note books were of register type. People say that “Cleanliness is next to Godliness.” I used to keep my notes very neat and clean and up to date. The books were quite heavy and had the Admonition written on the top right hand side of each book, on the cover page: “Please Do Not Dog Ear the Pages of my Book.” They used to return my books without dog earring the pages of my books.